Tag Archives: Self-Love

I used to think there was something wrong with me…

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For years, I thought that there was something wrong with me, that I was never quite good enough. Radiant and even appearing confident on the outside, yet on the inside, I was at war with myself. 

It impacted my romantic relationships, my business, my friendships, my relationship to my body, my finances. 

“I just need to learn how to not get so anxious when I first start dating someone.” 
“I need to learn how to not get so attached and to feel less intensely.” 
“I need to learn how to ‘toughen up.'”
“I need to learn how to talk less and listen more.” 

In my work it was:

“What did I do wrong to cause that client not to hire me?”
“I need to have a bigger email list; I need to learn FB ads; I need to learn, need to learn, need to learn…” 

When I looked in the mirror or got dressed in the morning, it was always, “How does my stomach look today?” and then disappointment that it wasn’t flatter. 

There was always something missing, lacking, too much or not enough. There was always something to improve or “get right.” 

And it was exhausting and had me perpetually spinning on a hamster wheel, never getting to “good enough.” And it blocked me from what I most desire: To be loved exactly as I am. To be successful exactly as I am. To be at peace exactly as I am. 

I was trapped in a life-long cycle of people-pleasing, and the anxiety of trying to get it right. I was often navigating the excruciating pain of heartbreak because “once again, I got it wrong.”

I certainly discovered how tremendously strong and capable that I am to endure tons of pain and get back up again…yet I was clueless about pleasure.

And as it turns out, when you learn to see yourself through the eyes of love, when you learn how to cherish yourself and THEN commit to your own pleasure in every moment, you can literally have whatever you want. 

I know that now. 

It took a lot of healing and support to get to this place where I can easily flip the internal switch within me toward seeing my wholeness and perfection and to simply be exploring what would be most pleasurable for me. I would love to help you flip that switch, too.

Click here to apply to work with me and we’ll explore how a Sacred Self-Love Mentorship with me will change your life.

Healing the Wound of Not Being “Chosen…”

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I help women heal the wound of not being “chosen.” 

I help you see it, name it, understand it—and most importantly, I help you clarify and articulate your desires, your core needs and boundaries so that you can become the number one priority in your life; so that you can create an amazing, mutually fulfilling relationship; so that you can feel cherished every day; so that you can have whatever you want in life. 

I spent 35 years of my life wanting to be chosen. Seeing and articulating the pattern in my 20’s…but still not knowing the way out until I saw the limiting beliefs I was carrying that had me making certain choices that weren’t actually working for me and didn’t get me where I wanted to be. 

I became masterful at discernment—to know what’s good for me and what isn’t; what works and what does not; what feels good and what doesn’t; what I actually want and how to operate in integrity with that. 

I had to get CRYSTAL clear about these patterns and what my limits are—where’s the edge that I have to honor in order to commit to my wellbeing?

If you know that your child gets sick every time she eats chocolate…you would parent her by (lovingly) saying no to chocolate treats in the future…even if she throws a tantrum. As grownups, we still need “parents” and now we have to learn to integrate that wisdom and responsibility from within. 

For example, If you know that you get anxious and heartbroken when you choose to engage romantically and/or sexually with someone who is not clearly interested in pursuing a relationship with you…then “parenting” yourself would mean holding space for the tantrumming child within while saying NO to her. Sitting on your hands, not sending the text, articulating your wants, needs, boundaries and walking away if they can’t be honored, etc. 

Much of what I do is help women face their pain, the overwhelming fear that arises in not doing what you normally do (the patterned behavior). When you can face this deeply uncomfortable fear and not abandon yourself, you discover something impenetrable within and you begin a new journey of making choosing YOU your go to. 

This journey is not easy (as in, it is a courageous journey) and it requires tremendous guidance. I couldn’t do it without guides, mentors, coaches, healers. And now I’m paying it forward by giving a hand up to my sisters who struggle in this way. I know the pain of not being chosen and know the path to feeling cherished every day. I would be honored to show you how. 

Melissa Simonson

P.S. I have a few spaces open in my one-on-one self-love mentorship program and am now enrolling. Reach out to schedule a complimentary Self-Love Activation Call and we will begin to clarify your path to healing and how I can help. 

Creating Emotional Safety for Yourself…

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I have seen brilliant, radiant, powerful women who are up to amazing things in their lives diminished to a tortured puddle of anxiety and self-doubt when falling for someone. 

I’ve seen it countless times and I’ve also been her. Years ago, a friend told me that I was so wise but when it came to relationships I was a “hot mess.” The painful truth. 

When the possibility of relationship enters the picture, the attachment system gets triggered and if you have an anxious attachment system, you might as well be a completely different person than you were walking into your first date. I used to get so frustrated with myself that I couldn’t stay “strong,” that this other part of me seemed to take over. I wanted to be the radiant, powerful woman, the light, go with the flow person I was out of relationship…all of the time. 

The problem was that on some level I was rejecting and abandoning myself and had super messy, unclear boundaries. I didn’t understand that *I* needed to be the one who created emotional safety for myself first and I definitely didn’t know how to do that back then. And the result was an absolute f*cking rollercoaster of ecstasy and devastating disappointment. The rush of the connection and the anxiety in between. 

If you want to get off of this rollercoaster…to be the powerful woman that you are outside of romantic relationship WHILE engaging in relationship, to have a solid relationship with yourself and a thriving partnership, I can show you how. 

Our people and our planet need women of all walks of life showing up in our power like never before. Every time you get pulled away from your deeper purpose because you are consumed by self-doubt and anxiety in love…you aren’t the only one who loses out. We need your contribution. 

Women in love with themselves, co-creating healthy, empowered relationships are a huge part of the fabric of healing our planet. Will you join me? 

Melissa Simonson

P.S. I am now enrolling in my one-on-one Self-Love Mentorship Program. Send me a message to set up a Complimentary Self-Love Activation Call to explore how this work will help you heal and have the mutual love that you so deeply long for.

The playback from last night’s Solar Eclipse Sacred Circle…

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Wow! What a transformative week it has been! Can you feel the shifts happening? The old falling away as you make room for the new in your life? What has gotten stirred up in you? What is now calling to be healed? Where are you now ready to grow?

I had so much fun leading the Solar Eclipse Sacred Circle on FB LIVE Thursday night, shedding wisdom on what we are collectively call to learn and discover with the initiation created by the Cancer eclipse–thank you to all those of you who joined in and brought your voice in the comments. It was a beautiful, vulnerable, magical experience that left my heart full and tears in my eyes. For those of you who didn’t get a chance tune in, you can watch the entire event by clicking the video below.

We now find ourselves in the Eclipse Portal–the powerful time leading up to our Lunar Eclipse in Aquarius on 7/27. For many this time can feel a bit “otherworldly,” like we’re floating a bit and not quite sure where we’re going to land. For others, you might have had a big breakthrough with this last eclipse and you’re now just laying back and witnessing the unfolding. For those who had more of a breakdown, you may find that you are needing to mourn and integrate as you open yourself for what’s next. I shared a bit about my own experience and held space as other’s shared theirs during the Sacred Circle–no matter what you’re experience, make sure you are getting plenty of rest and being extra gentle with yourself.

I love you so much!!!

Melissa

P.S. Now is a PERFECT time to unlock the wisdom of your birth chart and also discover specifically, what you are hear to expand and deepen in the upcoming months. I offer a complimentary discovery call for all new clients so that I can uncover your deeper needs, right now and we can get clear if a Soul Purpose Astrology Intensive is a right fit for you. Respond to this email to get on my schedule and I’ll look forward to supporting you in your next breakthrough. <3

P.P.S. Are you in the NYC area? You are invited to an IN PERSON Lunar Eclipse Sacred Circle in my Brooklyn home on 7/27 at 7pm. Click here to learn more and register.

The wisdom present in this Solar Eclipse in Cancer…

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Dear One,

Tonight’s solar eclipse in Cancer is here to ground us in this truth: Our softness is our strength. Our compassion is our greatest treasure.

If you are like me and those close to me, you have already experienced great emotion moving through you this past week. Any emotions that have been shoved into the dark recesses of your being are coming forth for you to see them, love them, embrace them so that they can help you see that there is not a single aspect of your being that is unworthy of love. Shame has no place in your being, it’s time to speak the truth, feel it all and set yourself free.

As Pluto in Capricorn continues to churn up and breakdown all of the patriarchal structures and conditioning that no longer serves us, this super moon in Cancer is showing us another way…a path that glorifies our feeling nature as the gift that it is, that embraces pleasure for its own sake, celebrates the power of sacred connection, of intuition, and flowing to the rhythm of that life force beating your heart and guiding you in all ways.

This solar eclipse might have you feeling like you’ve been plunged into the deep while you’re just learning to swim…and never fear, Dear Heart. Your only job here and now is to meet yourself with utmost gentleness as you discover your inherent ability to navigate the waters of your emotion. Your feelings have always been guiding you home and now, it is time to listen.

There is an invitation here to mother the scared child within you, the one who doesn’t know it’s worthy of love; to see yourself through the unconditional eyes of a mother’s love for her child. There is an invitation to get so acquainted with your inner needs so that you know how to build the foundation for your own security. That security has never existed outside of you…it cannot be built or achieved as the patriarchy would have us think…it has always existed in your ability to listen to and care for yourself. It is from there that the generous gift that you are flows out to the world around you…and any outward accolade is simply a product of aligning with true abundance.

It is in embracing every aspect of yourself, shedding all layers of the outworn paradigm that has you thinking there’s something wrong with the parts that you cannot fit in a box, it is in seeing that all you have hidden away or tried to “improve” are the truths and gifts that we most need now on this planet. You’ve always had the key to abundance, the key to love, the key to success, the key to prosperity. It is in your ability to embrace every aspect of your being.

So I invite you to begin today with treating yourself with utmost gentleness and knowing that every human act is simply an attempt to meet needs…we are each doing the best that we can and deep down there is a part of each of us all longing to be met with love, compassion, understanding, to be seen as all that we are. Look with those eyes in the days ahead and revel in the beauty and perfection that you find.

I love you so much!!!

Melissa

P.S. Join me tonight for a Facebook Live Solar Eclipse Sacred Circle at 8pm EST as I share deeper insight and hold space as you process all that you are discovering at this time. ❤🌔

Photo Credit: Frank Sommers & Anonymous 2nd grade class photographer 😉