As I reflect back on this past year, it has been a year of great courage for me.
I moved to NYC with little money in my bank account and fortunate to receive the support of great friends. I took on a life far from the cozy one I’d grown accustomed to and with each day, leapt into a new unknown.
I discovered burn-out in my work and had the courage to release patterns and dreams that no longer served me. It was scary and dark…deeply uncomfortable. I’m still letting go as I surrender notions of what it means to be a “success,” to have a purpose, what is meant for my life, what wants to be birthed through me.
It takes great courage to live inside the space of “I don’t know.” I’ve felt small and purposeless at times, a voice in my head constantly chiding “What if I never amount to anything?”–and that might be the most precious gift of this challenging year–there is something much more profound unfolding then my Personal Will can ever create or comprehend…and I don’t have to “amount” to anything to be a gift and receive the gift of my existence. A lesson I continue to learn.
And in the midst of all of that letting go and clearing out, a great love was being born and continues to birth itself with new adventures on the horizon–partnership was perhaps the least expected gift this year, and a most welcome surprise.
And now I face 2015 with continued courage, brand-new dreams, and a continued deepening of my surrender. “Thy will be done.” This will continue to be my prayer as I embark on yet another year of this precious life.