A poetic reflection of where I’m at, right now. It feels good to hold space for myself through exploring my heart with words.

There is something so saddening,
so exhausting about growth
There is a longing in my soul
to recognize myself as whole
and today I’m just not feeling it

Today I’d rather crawl under
a rock in some deep hole
then feel my muscles
stretching to meet the sun

Am I the only one here
in this place? I feel so alone,
so disconnected from
who I am here to be
and any reasoning leaves me
feeling further lost

There is so much about
learning that hurts
Stripped naked & raw
of what I already knew,
carved out anew to make
room for deeper understanding
When all I want is a soft
landing surrounded by friends
And I’m left here in this space
between
filled with questions instead

As the cells of my life
divide & multiply
as my heart expands to
make room for more
I feel fragile. Ungrounded.
Exposed.

And while I know I chose this
path in order to grow
Today I’m struggling to
remember what it’s all for
when all I can see is one door
closing behind me.