For those who long to be chosen…

2 years ago at this time I was one day away from meeting and falling for someone…the last person I would entangle with before meeting my life partner.

I was still afraid to fully claim & own my desires for fear of asking “too much.” I was doing a lot of wishing and hoping and not yet understanding how to fully and consciously create from a clear and grounded place within myself. I still thought that I needed to learn to be “more self-reliant/independent” and less “needy.” I was a bundle of anxiety for the entire 2 months of that relationship dance. I was still playing the waiting game & hoping to be “chosen.”

I’m so grateful for that time that was so intense because after that I refused to suffer any longer for the sake of “love.” I started communicating with the divine daily. I got clear about what I wanted. Through some powerful, straightforward guidance I got that I didn’t need to learn how to stop feeling certain things or denying myself in order to become “stronger.” I fully understood that there is no such thing as a “needy” person or “too much.” I got that it’s MY JOB to choose me AND to choose my partner and that to love myself is to know what conditions support my blossoming and to ensure that I’m planted in those conditions.

I had no idea at this time 2 years ago the ride I was about to step onto and how it would be one of the most intense, excruciating and greatest gifts I could receive. In that time, I understood what it is to truly be a queen.

I write this today for those of you who get anxious, consumed & distracted when you are dating and relating, for those of you who tip-toe around what you feel and really want, who wonder if on some level you really are asking “too much” and need to learn how to “chill the f*ck out.” I write this for the self-doubters who deeply long for healthy, loving committed partnership. I write this for you who long to be chosen. I write this for you because I see you and know what your path has been like, the pain that you feel…and I know the way out.

I had already been on a lifelong journey of growth and relationship Mastery before I got those final lessons…and what I didn’t know at this time 2 years ago is that I was just 4 months away from meeting the man I would choose to spend the rest of my life with…and that I would never feel so “chosen” in my life.

Standing for your having it ALL.

Melissa

P.S. I’m here to be your guide and mentor. If you wanna know how the heck you heal these patterns and how you, too, can fully live into the fulfillment of your desire for partnership, send me a message via my contact form and we will set up a conversation about how I can help.

The most important question to ask when dating/relating…

When it comes to dating, there is no “right” way for you or the other person to act, no such thing as “too much,” no such thing as “too fast” or “too slow.” All of this trying to get it right or wondering if something is acceptable or normal has you in your head (the land of ego safety, control and approval games) and ignoring how you actually FEEL.

The most important question that you need to be asking is: “How do I feel?”

Your feelings are sacred guides pointing to your own precious needs and values. If you’re feeling off—anxious, insecure, guarded, confused, frustrated, etc.—this is an indicator that you have some needs that aren’t being fulfilled completely in this situation. When you feel good, it’s because you’re aligning with what you need and value.

When feeling off in a relating/dating situation…the question is never whether or not you should be feeling what you’re feeling. Your feelings cannot be wrong (they are FOR YOU, after all). The question is: “What are these feelings telling me that I most need and desire?”

This is the only authority you ever need to follow.

Happy dating & relating, lovelies!

❤️Melissa

P.S. If you want to know how to navigate the world of your feelings like a ninja, to confidently choose yourself no matter what and create thriving relationships, I have openings for complimentary self-love activation calls (new clients only) in the next couple of weeks. Send an email via my contact form to grab your spot on my calendar.

New Year’s Reflections

As I reflect back on this past year, it has been a year of great courage for me.

I moved to NYC with little money in my bank account and fortunate to receive the support of great friends. I took on a life far from the cozy one I’d grown accustomed to and with each day, leapt into a new unknown.

I discovered burn-out in my work and had the courage to release patterns and dreams that no longer served me. It was scary and dark…deeply uncomfortable. I’m still letting go as I surrender notions of what it means to be a “success,” to have a purpose, what is meant for my life, what wants to be birthed through me.

It takes great courage to live inside the space of “I don’t know.” I’ve felt small and purposeless at times, a voice in my head constantly chiding “What if I never amount to anything?”–and that might be the most precious gift of this challenging year–there is something much more profound unfolding then my Personal Will can ever create or comprehend…and I don’t have to “amount” to anything to be a gift and receive the gift of my existence. A lesson I continue to learn.

And in the midst of all of that letting go and clearing out, a great love was being born and continues to birth itself with new adventures on the horizon–partnership was perhaps the least expected gift this year, and a most welcome surprise.

And now I face 2015 with continued courage, brand-new dreams, and a continued deepening of my surrender. “Thy will be done.” This will continue to be my prayer as I embark on yet another year of this precious life.

Poem: Our Love

beautifulhands

Riding the train at 2am
And I’m struck by the beauty of our hands

This is what love looks like
Our love
The beginning and end
Of black and white
The beginning of something
Felt deeply right
In our bones

This man’s soul
Looks like my soul
There’s a sort of
Coming home
Happening
A sort of
Discovering wholeness
Happening

And all I can think is:
Look at our beautiful hands?
This man. I’m so in love with
This man.

©2014 Melissa Simonson

In Love…and Allowing Myself to Express it

In light of yesterday’s post about allowing myself to soften into the vulnerable experience of joy, I’m choosing not to contain myself today: I am in love with an amazing man who very much loves me back.

Despite all of the ego fears that creep up telling me that it’s possible to “jinx” this wonderful experience by declaring it out loud, I’ve decided that I don’t give a shit. Regardless of what will ever come around the corner—today, right now, in this moment, I am blissfully content with this unfolding relationship, and I am giving myself the gift of expressing that joy with you.

And what do you know? The sky isn’t falling. The house is not burning to the ground.

I’m claiming my joy…and taking deep breaths as I bask in the sacredness of this tender, vulnerable space–allowing myself to receive the love that has been present here all along, waiting for me to open to it. Healing, releasing, breathing and healing some more.

Thank you, God, for this growing awareness and the precious gift of the love that is You in all of Your forms. I honor You today by choosing to receive You fully in all of Your brilliant glory. Thank You for blessing my life with all that unfolds, for the gift of this growth. May I remain an open conduit to receive Your love and offer it up through all that I am, that you are. AMEN.

:)Melissa

©2014 Melissa Simonson