On August 27th, 2013, the word “AND” transformed my life.
Let me explain.
Two days before, in my Advanced Course with Landmark Worldwide I’d had a huge breakthrough that had me seeing all of the ways that I was living my life as a victim who needs to protect herself from anger, harshness, disappointment. I was being a coach inside of the thought “Please don’t be mad at me;” a daughter, lover, friend inside of the thought, “Please don’t be mad at me;” I was pursuing my dreams inside of the thought, “Please don’t be mad at me:” which ummm…wasn’t very effective, to say the least. Was I making things happen? Yes. And I had NO CLUE what I could make possible through freedom from that fear story.
So there I was on August 27th, the final night of my Advanced course, and we were doing one last exercise. It went like this:
Look for all of the statements where you say, I want X BUT Y. And we were going back and forth with a partner stating as many of these as we could think of.
“I want to have a passionate, committed relationship BUT I’m afraid it’s not possible for me.”
“I want to make money doing what I love BUT I don’t know how.”
“I want to move out of my mom’s house BUT I can’t afford it.”
Then we made one little shift that created my life as I know it today. We simply took that little word, that action-stopping, you-can’t-have-what-you-want word, “BUT” and replaced it with “AND.”
“I want to have a passionate, committed relationship AND I’m afraid it’s not possible for me.”
“I want to make money doing what I love AND I don’t know how.”
“I want to move out of my mom’s house AND I can’t afford it.”
And suddenly the world opened up. There were actions I could take to have what I want. There was the possibility to move forward in my life in ways that truly matter to me. When I got to that last one about wanting to move out of my mom’s house AND not being able to afford it, I was stopped in my tracks:
“I need to move out of my mom’s house.”
And then I saw actions: Get clear on my finances, pick a date to move out and get clear on prices of apartments that I want, create a financial plan to make it happen, etc.
And I hit the ground running. That next week I was looking at apartments in Madison. And than it occurred to me: I don’t want to live in Madison anymore. I want to move to Brooklyn, NY, and I’m going to do it by March of 2014. I registered into the Landmark Introduction Leaders Program that just started this past Friday as a way to REALLY throw my hat over that fence.
And well, my loves, I’m writing this post from Brooklyn, NY and it’s March of 2014. And believe me: there were freak outs and break downs. I nearly cancelled my registration for that program multiple times. I chose to move in the midst of a business re-brand, which felt insane. And I didn’t let that stop me. I found the courage to ask friends and family for financial support in order to follow through on my commitment to get here in March to begin that program, and between the online GoFundMe campaign (http://www.gofundme.com/MelissaNYCJourney), and loving checks in the mail, I’ve currently raised $2,961 toward my $5000 goal, with 11 days left. Vulnerable to ask–Hell yes. And I didn’t let the word “BUT” stop me from creating the invitation for others to contribute powerfully to my life and those who I’m meant to touch with my life.
And I’m falling in love with what is beginning to unfold in my life here in my new city. And oh yeah, I’m going to have that relationship that I want, and every day I get to do more and more of the work that I love while also making money…doing what I love.
Anything is possible when we remove the word “BUT” from our language.
“AND” just might be my new favorite word.
Now it’s your turn: What could that simple word make possible in YOUR life? What actions can you take to turn YOUR wanting into reality?
All my love,