Facing Fears, Burning Through Illusion

As I let go, and let go, and let go, I find myself coming upon all kinds of opportunities to expand beyond former edges and burn through limitations.

What actions do you avoid taking in your life because you’re terrified of how it would make you feel?

For me, right now, it’s any action that could potentially cause me to lose external approval or be ridiculed that makes my throat tighten and a fire rise in my chest. And so I’m taking actions, step-by-step to kill that made-up ego story. Creating this video was one small way of peeling back a limiting layer. x

Dear Beloved

Dear Beloved,

I know that you long to be heard and seen, to be embraced and loved for all of you.

I see how alone that you feel, how uncertain, and I want you to know that I am here, always present.

Fall, and I will catch you.
Cry, and I will hold you.
Laugh, and I will laugh with you.

You are safe. You are always supported. You are always loved.

And you can’t get this life-thing, wrong. There’s nothing actually to get right. So, will you let go with me? Will you lean-in to all that fills your lungs with air? Will you lean in to that which sets you free?

I’m here and I always will be, seeing you, hearing you, loving you.

Take a deep breath. “‘Cause every little thing gonna be alright.”

Melissa

What I really want to say to you

Dear Beloved,

You are so beautiful. I know that you forget sometimes, that you can’t see the gift of who you are, and so I’m writing this love note to you today in hopes that I can remind you of who you really are.

You are so deeply lovable.

Have you looked in the mirror lately? Have you seen that smile? Have you seen how adorable that you are when you wear a serious frown? You could not be more perfect than you are in this moment.

There is nothing that you have to do to be worthy of this love. Absolutely nothing. A tree needn’t do a thing for me to love it for what it is. The ocean in its vastness could never do anything wrong. The orchid gives its gift simply because it exists. Can you see how this is also true for you?

Let’s breathe together. Feel the air, filling your lungs…and then let it go to be born again in the next moment…and let it go…and feel yourself being born again.

It’s so easy to get caught up in thought, to be seduced by the cycle of your mind, to strive, to think there is something to do, another mountain to climb. And yet in all of your striving and living in your mind you ignore this most sacred gift of your breath, of feeling all that there is to feel in your body.

Keep breathing with me. Can you see that there is nothing wrong in this moment? That nothing is ever wrong? Wherever you find yourself, and in whatever circumstance, can you see that there is nowhere else for you to be but here, being loved by me, right now?

I’m just sitting here smiling…my heart is full.

:)Melissa

P.S. You. Me. Your astrological chart. Your Soul Purpose revealed. You feel seen, heard, loved. You walk away with clarity and the confidence to embrace your truth. And I just love witnessing you in your blossoming as I get to share my gift with you. Click here if you would like to schedule a free call and learn more. xo

My Soul Said, “STOP!”

Sometimes in life you just have to stop. Everything.

Even when it means losing money, losing a reputation, losing relationships, losing…yourSELF.

And that is what I am now committed to: Losing my self. Shedding layer after layer of falseness. The identity created by a little girl to try to cope with the harshness of life. The identity of a little girl trained to please. The identity created by a little girl terrified of losing love.

As if love is ever anything that we can lose.

Here’s what I’m coming to discover: The ego is constantly working to obtain 3 things–Safety, Control and Approval–and like a master of illusion, it is constantly masking the pursuit of these three goals with all kinds of pretty, shiny, good intentions.

Like transforming lives, making a difference, making people feel good, inspiring people (For me, these have all been lovely masks for getting approval)

Making money, getting clients, growing my business, marketing, etc. (great masks for attempting to obtain safety and control)

And there is nothing wrong with all of these things that I was doing. It’s just that as long as I’m trying to meet the needs of my quenchless ego, I am not free–climbing up the mountain to fall down, to climb up and fall down again. I finally saw, with eyes wide open, the futility of this search. Every moment that I feel I need to explain myself. Doing work that I don’t want to do in order to make money. Agreeing to do things and committing to things when my heart says, “NO.” All of it was out of a drive to obtain safety, control and approval. And while I never actually felt fully safe, in control or like I had the whole world’s approval, I certainly experienced a whole lot of suffering-a bipolar roller-coaster of having what I want to then lose it again. As long as I am attached, the experience of infinite love, of Truth, of limitless freedom will elude me.

And because a long, long time ago, I prayed for the complete freedom of infinite surrender, it’s so perfect that I found myself a couple of months ago unable to go on as I was. I came right smack up against the edges of my identity and suddenly I felt trapped, exhausted, and with no where to turn. The only thing I could see to do was to just stop.

And so, in the midst of a “60 sessions in 60 days” campaign, I did just that. I cancelled sessions. I stopped marketing my business. I deactivated Facebook. After years of building a following as someone who inspires, I just turned it all off.

I’m currently not clear on next steps. I am not a caterpillar. I’m not a butterfly. Most days, right now, I feel like the goo in the chrysalis. Formless. Both dying and also becoming. Lots of stuff is happening, and at the same time, I’m being stripped down to nothing. At moments (the ones where my ego is grasping for safety, control and approval), I am terrified. At other moments, this nothingness is pure freedom.

I have been playing music and doing some song-writing. I feel inspired to busk in NYC parks and subways, and am facing some fears as I step into that space. I feel called to start sharing my gifts freely and widely–where people gather to listen with open hearts, I will sing and speak.

I’m still inspired by my gifts as an Astrologer because I see the power in revealing your soul purpose and the gift it is to you. I see that through that work I take people to the deep essence of who they are and align you with where your freedom and deep fulfillment live. I’m here to wake people up as I too am on this path of awakening. If you are called to connect with the deepest purpose of your soul, to see yourself and be seen as you never have before, and to discover how to let go of all that holds you back…I want to speak to you. We have great gifts for one another.

What it comes down to is that I just don’t give a shit anymore about the things I used to think mattered. I’m waking up…and in the process, this character I created is dying. I don’t even know the woman who created this website anymore…she is like a friend I used to know. For now, I’m using it because it’s here and serves my purposes of the moment. In the months ahead…who knows? I’m now on a path of infinite surrender. My current prayer: “Thy will be done.” This prayer is bittersweet…so much letting go, and moments of immense grief…and moments of deep love and gratitude. I am letting go and feeling myself soften into that surrender more fully with each day that passes as I align my personal will with divine will.

And in this letting go of who I thought I was and who I think I am…I am opening to discover myself as I would a new love…with pleasurable curiosity and delight at what I find. It is the primordial love affair. As it turns out, I am my soul mate, and I’m meeting me for the first time.

With deepest love for you, Beloved.

Melissa