Tag Archives: Letting Go

Pluto/Uranus Square: Feeling the Intensity (Part II)

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With yesterday’s Pluto/Uranus Square, many of us are feeling quite vulnerable and raw as we have been forced to confront ways of being and beliefs that have been holding us back. It’s transformation through fire, and whatever is not serving us, that has us out of alignment with our purpose, must go.

The issues that we’ve not wanted to confront in our relationships, our careers, our health, our living situations, our money, etc. are all being brought to the surface. The things that we’ve been so certain of are now shaking from the ground up. That which seemed solid is either growing more solid through the truths being revealed through this transformation or crumbling to the ground in order to make way for that which will truly endure, that which will truly serve us on our soul journey.

I personally have been forced to have some deeply vulnerable conversations, bare my fears, grow in my capacity to ask for what I need…and ultimately, I’ve shed the flashlight on some of the myriad parts of myself that I have yet to love. I’ve been so afraid of losing love that I wasn’t letting it all the way in, then…it poured in, and I freaked out…hahaha…tis the nature of this kind of transformation.

In any case, whatever you are experiencing in your own life the gift of this time is simple: Where have you put up barriers to the pure experience of love?

Whatever is falling away from your life now, as painful as it might be, know this: That thing, that relationship in the form that it was in, that belief you were clinging to must fall away in order to open your capacity to love and be loved, to be IN LOVE with what is.

This is the opportunity now: To open your heart so wide that all you can do is fall in love with what is, with who you are, and to allow others to reflect that love back to you. Oh, and remember to breathe, My Loves.

Always in your corner,

:)Melissa

 

Pluto/Uranus Square: Feeling the Intensity

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We find ourselves amidst some very intense energy, right now.

Tomorrow, the planets, Pluto and Uranus, will be exactly 90 degrees apart from one another for the 6th time in the past 3 years. And I can feel it build-up inside of me like a volcano that can no longer be contained in my being. I’d nearly forgotten about this alignment until unfoldings in my own life have made it unavoidable to ignore.

Pluto’s energy compels us to transform, to die to old ways of being that have dis-empowered us, so that our true selves can shine through. It brings up the underbelly of all that has been hidden just beneath the surface—the things that we fear to look at and to feel—and it compels us to face it all head on.

Uranus’ energy liberates us by throwing us the unexpected–breakdowns that challenge us to leap into our zone of genius, so that true breakthroughs can occur.

With these two planets squaring off, we have flooding and tornadoes touching down in Southern CA, issues of race that have long been over-looked forcibly rising to the surface, people demanding change. The energy is eruptive and transformation IS happening.

It’s moments like this where I almost call “uncle” as I feel my heart exploding with its own growth and the illusive fears of utter insecurity haunting my thoughts without remorse.

And as I fear losing that to which I am attached, I am reminded: Whatever is left in the end is what’s meant to be mine. All else is false.

There is this desire to cling for dear life as the house is rattling and the tornado threatens to carry it all away. My ego screams “hold on,” while my soul whispers, “let go.”

“Thy will be done.”

I do not know what is on the horizon personally and collectively. I do not know what will be left in tact and what is being birthed in place of all that is falling away. And when I listen to my soul’s whisper, I’m reminded that there is nothing wrong here; that in this moment where I can’t help but cry for the intensity of all that I feel, I am being loved by this, too. All there is to do is breathe and feel until the storm passes through.

©2014 Melissa Simonson

I Am Learning What Real Love Is

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There is a life-altering gift emerging from my family’s recent challenges, and it is a gift I am receiving with an open heart and deep gratitude.

I am learning what REAL love is—what it looks like, how it acts, how it moves.

You see, I used to cringe at the concept of “sacrificial love”—particularly that of the various Christian traditions that I was exposed to through the years. I interpreted this sacrifice as sacrificing one’s own happiness for the sake of another’s…which would add up to nobody actually being happy in the end. This kind of love sounded dis-empowering to me and at the heart of a whole lot of people not taking care of themselves, not pursuing what matters to them all for the sake of another. It sounded like entrapment, imprisonment. It sounded like a perfect recipe to lose one’s self.

And as it turns out, sacrificial love IS the perfect recipe to lose one’s self, and not any of the parts worth keeping. It turns out that through all of my resistance, sacrificial love is what I’ve been praying for all along.

I now see that this kind of love has nothing to do with giving up happiness, and everything to do with risking my SELF—all of the beliefs & stories I cling to, the past, the desire to be right and hold resentments, the drive to seek safety, control, and approval—true love asks me to give all of that up and surrender to a will far greater than my own. Not my will, God’s will. “Thy will be done.”

Sacrificial love means that I’m choosing to make myself so vulnerable, so open, so present to who you REALLY are to what REALLY is, that all I want is what is best for you…which as it turns out, is also what is best for me. It means seeing you beyond my stories of you, my perceptions of you, the past that my ego wants to project onto you. It means true forgiveness and healing.

So yes, sacrificial love requires letting go, and letting go, and letting go…but not of that which brings me joy. It simply asks me to let go of all of the illusions, all of the barriers that I’ve built that limit my capacity to actually experience joy and blind me from the truth: That love is the most natural, effortless expression of my soul. That loving you, SEEING you and showing up for you beyond fear and story is what I was born to do. It’s what we were all born to do.

Thanks to having the dad that I have and the mom that I have, I got to receive the precious gift of this growing awareness over this past week. I love them beyond words.

And oh yeah, when tragedy seems to strike in your life or to those dear to you—let my shared awareness be a gift and reminder to you that there is nothing wrong, ever. At any moment you can surrender and recognize that even those challenging experiences are loving you and giving you exactly what you need.

Peace, Y’all.

Melissa

©2014 Melissa Simonson

My Soul Said, “STOP!”

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Sometimes in life you just have to stop. Everything.

Even when it means losing money, losing a reputation, losing relationships, losing…yourSELF.

And that is what I am now committed to: Losing my self. Shedding layer after layer of falseness. The identity created by a little girl to try to cope with the harshness of life. The identity of a little girl trained to please. The identity created by a little girl terrified of losing love.

As if love is ever anything that we can lose.

Here’s what I’m coming to discover: The ego is constantly working to obtain 3 things–Safety, Control and Approval–and like a master of illusion, it is constantly masking the pursuit of these three goals with all kinds of pretty, shiny, good intentions.

Like transforming lives, making a difference, making people feel good, inspiring people (For me, these have all been lovely masks for getting approval)

Making money, getting clients, growing my business, marketing, etc. (great masks for attempting to obtain safety and control)

And there is nothing wrong with all of these things that I was doing. It’s just that as long as I’m trying to meet the needs of my quenchless ego, I am not free–climbing up the mountain to fall down, to climb up and fall down again. I finally saw, with eyes wide open, the futility of this search. Every moment that I feel I need to explain myself. Doing work that I don’t want to do in order to make money. Agreeing to do things and committing to things when my heart says, “NO.” All of it was out of a drive to obtain safety, control and approval. And while I never actually felt fully safe, in control or like I had the whole world’s approval, I certainly experienced a whole lot of suffering-a bipolar roller-coaster of having what I want to then lose it again. As long as I am attached, the experience of infinite love, of Truth, of limitless freedom will elude me.

And because a long, long time ago, I prayed for the complete freedom of infinite surrender, it’s so perfect that I found myself a couple of months ago unable to go on as I was. I came right smack up against the edges of my identity and suddenly I felt trapped, exhausted, and with no where to turn. The only thing I could see to do was to just stop.

And so, in the midst of a “60 sessions in 60 days” campaign, I did just that. I cancelled sessions. I stopped marketing my business. I deactivated Facebook. After years of building a following as someone who inspires, I just turned it all off.

I’m currently not clear on next steps. I am not a caterpillar. I’m not a butterfly. Most days, right now, I feel like the goo in the chrysalis. Formless. Both dying and also becoming. Lots of stuff is happening, and at the same time, I’m being stripped down to nothing. At moments (the ones where my ego is grasping for safety, control and approval), I am terrified. At other moments, this nothingness is pure freedom.

I have been playing music and doing some song-writing. I feel inspired to busk in NYC parks and subways, and am facing some fears as I step into that space. I feel called to start sharing my gifts freely and widely–where people gather to listen with open hearts, I will sing and speak.

I’m still inspired by my gifts as an Astrologer because I see the power in revealing your soul purpose and the gift it is to you. I see that through that work I take people to the deep essence of who they are and align you with where your freedom and deep fulfillment live. I’m here to wake people up as I too am on this path of awakening. If you are called to connect with the deepest purpose of your soul, to see yourself and be seen as you never have before, and to discover how to let go of all that holds you back…I want to speak to you. We have great gifts for one another.

What it comes down to is that I just don’t give a shit anymore about the things I used to think mattered. I’m waking up…and in the process, this character I created is dying. I don’t even know the woman who created this website anymore…she is like a friend I used to know. For now, I’m using it because it’s here and serves my purposes of the moment. In the months ahead…who knows? I’m now on a path of infinite surrender. My current prayer: “Thy will be done.” This prayer is bittersweet…so much letting go, and moments of immense grief…and moments of deep love and gratitude. I am letting go and feeling myself soften into that surrender more fully with each day that passes as I align my personal will with divine will.

And in this letting go of who I thought I was and who I think I am…I am opening to discover myself as I would a new love…with pleasurable curiosity and delight at what I find. It is the primordial love affair. As it turns out, I am my soul mate, and I’m meeting me for the first time.

With deepest love for you, Beloved.

Melissa

Video: All the pieces of who we are…

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I made this video for you today, Beautiful People. If you find yourself in the midst of transition, in pursuit of dreams or wanting to pursue them, coping with loss in its various forms or afraid to make changes and big leaps in your life, I encourage you to check this out. As it turns out…we don’t actually lose the people and things and places that matter to us when we transition and we have everything to gain by making our big leaps.
Here is the link to the GoFundMe Campaign: http://www.gofundme.com/MelissaNYCJourney  (where you can receive the Soul Mapping Journey for 50% off!)

<3 Melissa

©2014 Melissa Simonson