Love is a continual practice of letting go…and letting go…and letting go

As I receive unconditional love and acceptance from my partner on a whole, new level for me, I am being confronted with inner demons that I didn’t fully know were there.

Because relationship is simply a mirror for our own relationship with ourselves, I find that as I experience love flowing in, that love is being matched by an equally powerful self-doubt and in all honesty, a self-loathing that is both painful and surprising. The mirror is being held up and I’m seeing all of the qualities that I didn’t even realize I find unlovable within myself, all of the ways that I reject myself. My ego is squirming this week and looking for cover…big-time. The mask is falling away and I’m coming face-to-face with my imperfection.

There’s a very young voice that comes forth inside of me wondering, “Have I gone too far this time? Have you seen too much? Is this the point when I make the love go away?” It is raw, vulnerable, down-right terrified.

I’ve found myself experiencing deep shame at various points this week, judging myself, feeling tremendously insecure, wondering when the stronger, empowered…get this…more lovable me…will return. You know, the me who “has it all together.” This week I’m being challenged to surrender a deeply ingrained belief about myself, about love–that I have to control your experience of me, that I have to act and operate in a certain way in order to be worthy of your love.

And as I’ve been the snotty, needy, victim-minded, emotional mess…ummm…not the me I wanted my partner to see, I’m having to face this fear head on: What will happen when I’m not playing the part? When I let the wounded little girl come out of the closet? What will happen when I’m not in control?

And well, I’m finding out even as I write.

I see now that the deeper the love, the deeper the surrender that’s required. Love is a continual practice of letting go, and letting go, and letting go.

And the most challenging and beautiful part of this whole process: It’s not my partner’s job to love me. It’s MY job. It’s MY job to heal this old wound and to hold myself gently. Right now, loving myself as I’m facing my “ugly” parts is in writing this post, it’s in creating spaciousness for myself, focusing on what matters to me, and it’s in allowing myself to be seen and believe in the love I’m receiving from my partner. Slowly, and steadily unfurling my petals despite how “unsafe” that feels. And breathing. And breathing.

Real love is no fairytale. It doesn’t just show up and good feelings abound happily ever after. It challenges us, stretches us, grows us…heals us. It’s so much more dimensional than a fairytale. It’s not perfect. It’s real life. It’s an opportunity to see who we REALLY are, and love what we find there…even when we don’t. 😉

All my love,


Love Revelation: You Are Sacred And Precious to Me

I had a session with my own wonderful coach, Christina Dunbar, last night–and I’m giddy today and overflowing with love and excitement because after months of re-birthing and years of doing my work in various forms, she helped me tap into my core essence, my signature genius work that I am meant to deliver in the world. It was like angels-singing-the-hallelujah-chorus-epiphany-moment kind of good. Something inside of me was seen & unleashed in a way that I’ve never acknowledged before: the transformation that I create in my one-on-one sessions, my ability to reveal to you all of who you are with laser insight, to connect you with the truth of your soul, while creating a space that has you feeling PURELY and UNCONDITIONALLY loved is A HEALING. I AM a sacred healer.

You see, I have this part of me, this wounded middle schooler/high schooler that has been afraid to claim the serious depth of the work that I do. Back when it was uncool to take life seriously, I was taking life seriously–and the sense of not belonging had me constantly feeling like I needed to lighten up some how, to not come across as so introspective, to not be so intense. I see now that I’ve approached my work, my work that goes deep and leaves you feeling whole, complete, free and at the source of your own life–I’ve approached my work from this place of trying to hide my depth and what we REALLY create together. And the truth is, what I do with Astrology and who I am as a coach is so unique & so powerful in it’s ability to catalyze love, that it’s high time I claim it for what it truly is: SACRED and PRECIOUS. The truth is, having you loving and fully embracing all of who you are and being freely at the cause of living a life that sets your heart ablaze is something that I take VERY seriously. YOU are precious to me, and the work that we do together is sacred.

I’ve been afraid of having my astrology work lumped into a category with entertainment or woo woo froo froo fortune-telling, and I wasn’t getting that the moment I take my unique gifts seriously, the rest of the world will take them seriously, too. And the the thing I’ve had to fully embrace is this: I am not one thing. I am tremendously playful and fun in addition to being a loving, grounded and nurturing healer. I hold within my heart a rich, deep, earth and gorgeous, airy spirit & light. When we work together, we laugh and we cry together. There is deep release. There is blossoming. There is a discovery of how beautiful that you truly are & the uncovering of your soul-map to fulfillment. When we are complete, you get in your bones who you are here to be, and you have all of the ingredients to be fully expressed. When we are complete you fully EMBODY the FREEDOM that is your birthright.

And It is deeply precious and sacred work because you deserve nothing less.

Are you ready to be free, at peace and fully aligned with the sacred whisper of your soul? Click here to schedule a 1 hr. consult so that we can see if my Soul-Mapping Session is a right fit for you:

With all of my love,