Tag Archives: Soul Purpose

New Year’s Reflections

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As I reflect back on this past year, it has been a year of great courage for me.

I moved to NYC with little money in my bank account and fortunate to receive the support of great friends. I took on a life far from the cozy one I’d grown accustomed to and with each day, leapt into a new unknown.

I discovered burn-out in my work and had the courage to release patterns and dreams that no longer served me. It was scary and dark…deeply uncomfortable. I’m still letting go as I surrender notions of what it means to be a “success,” to have a purpose, what is meant for my life, what wants to be birthed through me.

It takes great courage to live inside the space of “I don’t know.” I’ve felt small and purposeless at times, a voice in my head constantly chiding “What if I never amount to anything?”–and that might be the most precious gift of this challenging year–there is something much more profound unfolding then my Personal Will can ever create or comprehend…and I don’t have to “amount” to anything to be a gift and receive the gift of my existence. A lesson I continue to learn.

And in the midst of all of that letting go and clearing out, a great love was being born and continues to birth itself with new adventures on the horizon–partnership was perhaps the least expected gift this year, and a most welcome surprise.

And now I face 2015 with continued courage, brand-new dreams, and a continued deepening of my surrender. “Thy will be done.” This will continue to be my prayer as I embark on yet another year of this precious life.

Pluto/Uranus Square: Feeling the Intensity (Part II)

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With yesterday’s Pluto/Uranus Square, many of us are feeling quite vulnerable and raw as we have been forced to confront ways of being and beliefs that have been holding us back. It’s transformation through fire, and whatever is not serving us, that has us out of alignment with our purpose, must go.

The issues that we’ve not wanted to confront in our relationships, our careers, our health, our living situations, our money, etc. are all being brought to the surface. The things that we’ve been so certain of are now shaking from the ground up. That which seemed solid is either growing more solid through the truths being revealed through this transformation or crumbling to the ground in order to make way for that which will truly endure, that which will truly serve us on our soul journey.

I personally have been forced to have some deeply vulnerable conversations, bare my fears, grow in my capacity to ask for what I need…and ultimately, I’ve shed the flashlight on some of the myriad parts of myself that I have yet to love. I’ve been so afraid of losing love that I wasn’t letting it all the way in, then…it poured in, and I freaked out…hahaha…tis the nature of this kind of transformation.

In any case, whatever you are experiencing in your own life the gift of this time is simple: Where have you put up barriers to the pure experience of love?

Whatever is falling away from your life now, as painful as it might be, know this: That thing, that relationship in the form that it was in, that belief you were clinging to must fall away in order to open your capacity to love and be loved, to be IN LOVE with what is.

This is the opportunity now: To open your heart so wide that all you can do is fall in love with what is, with who you are, and to allow others to reflect that love back to you. Oh, and remember to breathe, My Loves.

Always in your corner,

:)Melissa

 

My Soul Said, “STOP!”

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Sometimes in life you just have to stop. Everything.

Even when it means losing money, losing a reputation, losing relationships, losing…yourSELF.

And that is what I am now committed to: Losing my self. Shedding layer after layer of falseness. The identity created by a little girl to try to cope with the harshness of life. The identity of a little girl trained to please. The identity created by a little girl terrified of losing love.

As if love is ever anything that we can lose.

Here’s what I’m coming to discover: The ego is constantly working to obtain 3 things–Safety, Control and Approval–and like a master of illusion, it is constantly masking the pursuit of these three goals with all kinds of pretty, shiny, good intentions.

Like transforming lives, making a difference, making people feel good, inspiring people (For me, these have all been lovely masks for getting approval)

Making money, getting clients, growing my business, marketing, etc. (great masks for attempting to obtain safety and control)

And there is nothing wrong with all of these things that I was doing. It’s just that as long as I’m trying to meet the needs of my quenchless ego, I am not free–climbing up the mountain to fall down, to climb up and fall down again. I finally saw, with eyes wide open, the futility of this search. Every moment that I feel I need to explain myself. Doing work that I don’t want to do in order to make money. Agreeing to do things and committing to things when my heart says, “NO.” All of it was out of a drive to obtain safety, control and approval. And while I never actually felt fully safe, in control or like I had the whole world’s approval, I certainly experienced a whole lot of suffering-a bipolar roller-coaster of having what I want to then lose it again. As long as I am attached, the experience of infinite love, of Truth, of limitless freedom will elude me.

And because a long, long time ago, I prayed for the complete freedom of infinite surrender, it’s so perfect that I found myself a couple of months ago unable to go on as I was. I came right smack up against the edges of my identity and suddenly I felt trapped, exhausted, and with no where to turn. The only thing I could see to do was to just stop.

And so, in the midst of a “60 sessions in 60 days” campaign, I did just that. I cancelled sessions. I stopped marketing my business. I deactivated Facebook. After years of building a following as someone who inspires, I just turned it all off.

I’m currently not clear on next steps. I am not a caterpillar. I’m not a butterfly. Most days, right now, I feel like the goo in the chrysalis. Formless. Both dying and also becoming. Lots of stuff is happening, and at the same time, I’m being stripped down to nothing. At moments (the ones where my ego is grasping for safety, control and approval), I am terrified. At other moments, this nothingness is pure freedom.

I have been playing music and doing some song-writing. I feel inspired to busk in NYC parks and subways, and am facing some fears as I step into that space. I feel called to start sharing my gifts freely and widely–where people gather to listen with open hearts, I will sing and speak.

I’m still inspired by my gifts as an Astrologer because I see the power in revealing your soul purpose and the gift it is to you. I see that through that work I take people to the deep essence of who they are and align you with where your freedom and deep fulfillment live. I’m here to wake people up as I too am on this path of awakening. If you are called to connect with the deepest purpose of your soul, to see yourself and be seen as you never have before, and to discover how to let go of all that holds you back…I want to speak to you. We have great gifts for one another.

What it comes down to is that I just don’t give a shit anymore about the things I used to think mattered. I’m waking up…and in the process, this character I created is dying. I don’t even know the woman who created this website anymore…she is like a friend I used to know. For now, I’m using it because it’s here and serves my purposes of the moment. In the months ahead…who knows? I’m now on a path of infinite surrender. My current prayer: “Thy will be done.” This prayer is bittersweet…so much letting go, and moments of immense grief…and moments of deep love and gratitude. I am letting go and feeling myself soften into that surrender more fully with each day that passes as I align my personal will with divine will.

And in this letting go of who I thought I was and who I think I am…I am opening to discover myself as I would a new love…with pleasurable curiosity and delight at what I find. It is the primordial love affair. As it turns out, I am my soul mate, and I’m meeting me for the first time.

With deepest love for you, Beloved.

Melissa

Love Revelation: I am a Radical Self-Love Ambassador…

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I call myself a Radical Self-Love Ambassador, and as fun and “what is that?” as it sounds, I really mean it. And sometimes I can forget that I really mean it or what it even means. So, I’m declaring it here so that I begin to create it, and so that you can be a part of it, too. 

Here’s what that looks like for me: Bring me into your companies, your organizations, your women’s groups, your men’s groups, your churches, your workshops & retreats and I’ll use my potent gift to make art with words, my music, my powerful inquiries and my capacity to facilitate transformative conversations as we talk about shame, about the path to freedom, about humility as a celebration of ALL of our strengths, about the magic of vulnerability and the power & connection we discover through authentically expressing who we are, about getting clear and having the courage to pursue what we REALLY want in our lives…I’ll talk about what self-love REALLY is, what it looks like and why it actually matters. And I’ll do it in a way that has everyone taking deep breaths and discovering their own precious power in the process.

Bring me in to be a presenter, to creatively inspire and to facilitate conversations with your young people and teens in your schools and organizations as I create a space for them to laugh at themselves and love themselves at the same time…for perhaps the first time in a really long time. I’ll create the space for them to find permission to be who they REALLY are and to like what they find.

Being a Radical Self-Love Ambassador means that in the months and years ahead I will be touring the world and having people get all the way into the cells of their bones that there is nothing wrong with them and that they are deeply and truly loved.

It means published books, and more recorded albums of my original music. It means creating performance art and one-woman shows and creating workshops where people get to share and release their stories of shame and embrace what makes them beautiful and unique.

It means listening for what lights you up in our one-on-one conversations so that you walk away, unleashed, empowered and being more YOU than ever before.

It means leaving the grocery clerk and the coffee barrista and the woman who cleans at my gym GETTING that they matter and are appreciated not just for what they do and also for who they are.

It means continuing to take on my dreams, becoming intimate with my own doubts, fears, and limiting beliefs. It means loving myself despite the voice that tells me “I never get it right.” It means being really human and therefore, really lovable, so that you get to see how lovable that you are, too.

And so, I’m declaring this here today as what I’m in the midst of creating. I don’t know how it’s all going to go yet or exactly what it will look like as it unfolds…and being in communication with you seemed like a great place to start.

If you love what you read in my posts if you are inspired by the possibility of having me LIVE at your event or doing work within your organization or community…then EMAIL ME and we’ll begin a life-changing conversation about what that could actually look like.

All my love,

:)Melissa

©2014 Melissa Simonson