Happy Valentine’s Day

Who needs just one Valentine when you can have 7.125 Billion?

As I’ve gone about my day, witnessing the little love moments exchanged between people of all shapes, colors, ages and sizes, I’ve recognized myself, loving me all over the place.

And I’ve been operating in my life these past days out of a new, daily commitment, asking myself the question: what would a person who loves herself do? And I ask this with every conscious decision I make. Do I want chai or a green juice? (What would a person who loves herself do?) Turns out, my body wanted both. And dessert, and a bouquet of flowers.

And it’s interesting, in operating from this new listening for myself, I’m being gifted. A medium chai for the price of a small. Just because. A dollar off on my bouquet of flowers and an extra carnation thrown in there. Just because.

Because when I love me, I love 7.125 billion people, and one by one, you each love me back. Just like that.

Happy Valentine’s Day. I love you.

©2015 Melissa Simonson

There are no “right” rules to learn. There’s just love.

My heart breaks when I witness people jumping through hoops to “get” the love of another. I’m in some forums here on Facebook where I witness women trying so hard to learn the right strategy in relationships and it’s so clear to me that the only thing to “do” is to let all of those games go. And it hurts me because each of those people is holding up a mirror for the games I, myself, got tangled up in for years–my own unconscious version of self-torture. With each day that passes, I’m letting go of all of the strategy and getting that when it comes to relationship, there are no rules. There’s just love.

For years, I thought “If I can just stop doing this, or learn that, or love myself enough, or be feminine enough, or be more patient, blah blah blah” THEN I’ll get to experience someone REALLY loving me.

As it turns out, there’s nothing to get right. You don’t have to perform a circus act. You don’t have to worry about whether or not you’re “leaning back” or “leaning forward.” There’s no “too masculine” or “too feminine,” no “too much or too little.”

When it’s love, you just work it out…together.

As it turns out, through the eyes of Love, each one of us truly is enough with every edge and angle of imperfection.

The little girl me who was so convinced that she had to get it right and would inevitably mess up and make the love go away is healing, bit by bit, with every opportunity to feel and share and release. This week, I’ve had freak outs and made up stories, I’ve had moments of elation followed by deep fears taking over, and I’ve thrown some not-so-grown-up tantrums in reaction to all of the made-up stories. Not my proudest moments, dear hearts…AND I learn more and more each day that Love doesn’t leave when it knows the truth.

We, my loves, are here for connection. And the only way to connect is to get really messy, to get really vulnerable, to risk making “all of the mistakes.” And I will tell you that there is nothing more healing than letting it all hang out and discovering through the mirror of another just how lovable that you really are.

I am so damn lovable, it’s amazing.

When love is present, it trumps any rules, any moves that you do or do not make. After years of trying to figure out who and how to be to experience real love in my life, I’m now seeing that it was really more about my soul path and surrendering to divine timing. Because most of what I “learned” I’m now throwing out the window–it turns out all of those rules of how to be just get in the way of receiving what is real.

So, I dare you to throw away the strategy and stop trying to learn the “right way” to “get the relationship of your dreams.” It’s just bullshit, dear hearts.

So, will you join me in ending the games? In stopping the strategy sessions? In forgiving yourself for all that you are and are not?

Be you. Trust in God. All is unfolding exactly as it is supposed to.

All my love,


In Love…and Allowing Myself to Express it

In light of yesterday’s post about allowing myself to soften into the vulnerable experience of joy, I’m choosing not to contain myself today: I am in love with an amazing man who very much loves me back.

Despite all of the ego fears that creep up telling me that it’s possible to “jinx” this wonderful experience by declaring it out loud, I’ve decided that I don’t give a shit. Regardless of what will ever come around the corner—today, right now, in this moment, I am blissfully content with this unfolding relationship, and I am giving myself the gift of expressing that joy with you.

And what do you know? The sky isn’t falling. The house is not burning to the ground.

I’m claiming my joy…and taking deep breaths as I bask in the sacredness of this tender, vulnerable space–allowing myself to receive the love that has been present here all along, waiting for me to open to it. Healing, releasing, breathing and healing some more.

Thank you, God, for this growing awareness and the precious gift of the love that is You in all of Your forms. I honor You today by choosing to receive You fully in all of Your brilliant glory. Thank You for blessing my life with all that unfolds, for the gift of this growth. May I remain an open conduit to receive Your love and offer it up through all that I am, that you are. AMEN.


©2014 Melissa Simonson

Holy Shit. Feeling Joy Is Scary


So, for 5 years, the brand name of my business was JoyDiva. On twitter, I’m still TheJoyDiva.

And today, I’m recognizing that joy might be the most challenging emotion to allow myself to soften into. I’m kickass at creating joy out of tragedy, of seeing the beauty amidst the mud and muck of existence…and I’ve caught my mind red-handed this week doing everything it can to sabotage simple joy left and right.

In her breadth of work on vulnerability, Brené Brown mentions that “joy is the most vulnerable emotion we experience,” and I now see that I am no exception to this experience. I can pour my heart out to you on this page. I can talk about my pain, I can start a new life from nothing, own a business, perform and speak before hundreds of people, etc…but if you give me an opportunity to experience joy…the joy of success, of falling in love and all that good stuff…my mind will search for a million ways to shut that shit down in an instant.

I get it. I dealt with a lot of angry outbursts coming at me when I was a kid and a lot of drama. I got attached to the experience of the other shoe dropping without warning. So I’ve made myself hyper-vigilant, to create an illusion of being in control. I create mental obstacle courses for my loved ones to prove that it’s safe to let go and simply feel the joy of their love. When you don’t give me what I want, I make you wrong in my mind and put walls between us as I come up with a gazillion stories about why you didn’t give me what I want and create you as the enemy. When you tell me you love me, I beam and moments later start to think about how that love might go away, how you don’t really mean it, how you’re going to change your mind–disappointing myself now, so that you can’t do it later. (Think you’re going to hurt me in some unknown future? Well don’t worry ’cause I’m gonna hurt myself first and real good so you don’t get to!) Yikes.

As it turns out, my mind is a master joy-killer, and in its addiction to keeping me safe and in control, it’s kept me from the experience of true connection and the innocent bliss that follows. It’s kept me in an anxious state of holding my breath the minute something joyous comes into my life.

And I’m so excited to see this! To see how scary it is for me to trust in innocent joy and goodness, to see how I’VE broken my own heart so many times by stopping my joy in it’s tracks with looking for what is or is going to go wrong. I love that I am catching myself in the act of joy-killing–noticing the thoughts and breathing as I let them go and bring myself back to what’s actually happening in the moment.

Because the truth is, I really can just be in love, and I really can just feel joy. You really can just love me and keep on loving me. And tonight, I am loving the little girl in me who is terrified to let go of control, and I am embracing her with compassionate understanding. This is an old story, and I don’t need it to protect myself any longer. Moment by moment, step by step, I now have the opportunity to soften, further and further and further into…love.

Holy shit. Deep breath.


©2014 Melissa Simonson

What I really want to say to you

Dear Beloved,

You are so beautiful. I know that you forget sometimes, that you can’t see the gift of who you are, and so I’m writing this love note to you today in hopes that I can remind you of who you really are.

You are so deeply lovable.

Have you looked in the mirror lately? Have you seen that smile? Have you seen how adorable that you are when you wear a serious frown? You could not be more perfect than you are in this moment.

There is nothing that you have to do to be worthy of this love. Absolutely nothing. A tree needn’t do a thing for me to love it for what it is. The ocean in its vastness could never do anything wrong. The orchid gives its gift simply because it exists. Can you see how this is also true for you?

Let’s breathe together. Feel the air, filling your lungs…and then let it go to be born again in the next moment…and let it go…and feel yourself being born again.

It’s so easy to get caught up in thought, to be seduced by the cycle of your mind, to strive, to think there is something to do, another mountain to climb. And yet in all of your striving and living in your mind you ignore this most sacred gift of your breath, of feeling all that there is to feel in your body.

Keep breathing with me. Can you see that there is nothing wrong in this moment? That nothing is ever wrong? Wherever you find yourself, and in whatever circumstance, can you see that there is nowhere else for you to be but here, being loved by me, right now?

I’m just sitting here smiling…my heart is full.


P.S. You. Me. Your astrological chart. Your Soul Purpose revealed. You feel seen, heard, loved. You walk away with clarity and the confidence to embrace your truth. And I just love witnessing you in your blossoming as I get to share my gift with you. Click here if you would like to schedule a free call and learn more. xo