So, I have this lie that I tell.
I tell it every time I walk into a group of people…the bigger the group, the bigger the lie. I tell it when I’m the “new girl” or I’m about to embark on something completely new and out of my comfort zone.
It goes something like this:
“I don’t belong here. I’m invisible. Everyone knows what they’re doing except me and no one cares that I feel lost. No one even cares if I am here or not…”
This lie seemed to get crystallized around age 10, the first week of band class when I picked up my flute to play a song I knew well…and unbeknownst to me, the band was playing it in a different key…but since I didn’t know that, all I thought was, “I’m wrong and I don’t even know why and no one cares.” If it weren’t for my dad getting me extra help when I came home crying and wanting to quit, I wouldn’t be playing flute today.
And the funny thing is, I’m not 10 anymore, but that memory, that feeling, can live itself over and over again every time I step into a new situation with a group of people, and every time, I want to quit, to walk away, to find the escape hatch.
And it’s a lie because the truth is, I belong the moment that I say I belong. I belong the moment that I step outside of my “what about me” fears and get present, really present and engage with the people around me. I belong when I get that every single person on this planet is a contribution, and I can choose to be a powerful, loving contribution.
I belong when I express myself, all of myself, when I share from my heart and create the space for others to share from their hearts.
I discover with a little more ease each time I start to tell this lie that if I want to belong, I need to create a space where others belong.
I’ve found that life is so much more powerful when I give away what I want the most.
So I ask you: What are you going to give away today?
©2014 Melissa Simonson