With Every Moment That I Am Present With You…

A little over 3 weeks ago, I woke up and I wasn’t so sure I wanted to do this life thing anymore. I’d gotten so far away from my center and rather than dealing with what there was to deal with in the present, I was doing everything that I could to escape, looking for every semblance of sweetness outside of myself. I’d consumed myself with a vision of a future that did not exist. I overlooked what there was to see in my relationship and suddenly, I was forced to face reality. Poof. He was gone to face the circumstances of his own reality. It felt sharp, and cold, and devastatingly painful, and there was no escape.

And so I found myself actually going to that place I never imagined–and it’s hard to even write it now. I didn’t want to be me, living this life. I wanted desperately for the pain to end. I wasn’t so sure that I could endure anymore…something closely resembling rock bottom.

And I chose to get up. My mom was recovering from surgery in the hospital, the dogs needed to be cared for and the last thing in the world I thought I wanted or needed…I had an in-person Soul Purpose Astrology Session with a client that afternoon. I literally cried up until about 5 min before that session. Something inside of me wouldn’t let me cancel.

Thank God.

It was in that session that I found myself. As I held up the mirror, reflecting her power back to her, I found my power. As I created a space for her to soften into love for all of her many parts, I fell in love with my many parts. I was offering up the gift of my existence, and receiving the gift of existence at the same time. No need to escape. I walked away from that session enlivened by the present, and suddenly the circumstances of my grief had some distance from my heart.

These past few weeks have continued to challenge me, have had me wanting to run away from myself and yet, with each passing day I’m surrendering to the present. In fact, I’m hungry for it. The past and the future only exist in my thoughts. Suffering only exists in my thoughts. Story. Illusion. Unreality.

With every moment that I am present with you, I feel grounded, alive with a growing sense of peace for what is. I actually want to deal with what there is to deal with–I’m in my power and connected with my capacity to not only cope but, even further, to create. To be present with you is to be present with myself.

To be of service, to give my gift, to show up for you, to hear and see you and shine the light on your brilliant beauty has, literally, given me my life back.

I’m teary as I write this. I don’t have any more words, just a heart full of emotion, full with life.

©2015 Melissa Simonson

Happy Valentine’s Day

Who needs just one Valentine when you can have 7.125 Billion?

As I’ve gone about my day, witnessing the little love moments exchanged between people of all shapes, colors, ages and sizes, I’ve recognized myself, loving me all over the place.

And I’ve been operating in my life these past days out of a new, daily commitment, asking myself the question: what would a person who loves herself do? And I ask this with every conscious decision I make. Do I want chai or a green juice? (What would a person who loves herself do?) Turns out, my body wanted both. And dessert, and a bouquet of flowers.

And it’s interesting, in operating from this new listening for myself, I’m being gifted. A medium chai for the price of a small. Just because. A dollar off on my bouquet of flowers and an extra carnation thrown in there. Just because.

Because when I love me, I love 7.125 billion people, and one by one, you each love me back. Just like that.

Happy Valentine’s Day. I love you.

©2015 Melissa Simonson

The power to bless

It was an intense day on NYC public transport–trains cutting their journeys short due to station investigations, and something was in the air, people throwing f-bombs at each other left and right, strangers becoming more estranged, hurt people creating weapons with their words.

And then there was this: A man counting money he made from busking with his drum, striking up a conversation with a man he didn’t know and exchanging kindness. Just before getting off the train he said, “We all have the power, but it only works if we use it together.”

And I touched him and said, “Amen”–the only thing I could really say in the face of such truth.

And I remembered in that moment, my power to bless with my presence, my listening, with my kindness. We all have that power, and it only works if we use it together.


Love Revelation: Thinking…plus action…makes it so

Tonight’s magical NYC subway adventure included a conversation with a very close-talking, surprisingly profound and maybe a little psychic drunk man telling me that he was “very attracted to my light” and that I belong on Stephen Colbert or Broadway, 🙂 , followed by a deep conversation with a man newly studying to be a lawyer about, NLP, Eckhart Tolle’s the Power of Now, Jed Mckenna, Byron Katie, Landmark Worldwide (It was a long train ride from the city at this hour).

And the evening ended with a text message from this new friend: “Melissa, amazing connecting with you. your journey is going to be as beautiful as you decide to make it. Thinking makes it so.”

This whole night began with my heading into the city to grab a drink with a lovely man who I met on the Subway last week who was reading an inspirational book that grabbed my attention.

All of my life, people have warned me to “keep my guard up” and worried about my daring willingness to leap into the unknown, befriend strangers, and go off the beaten path. Even in the midst of connecting with kind strangers like this man, I’m met with concern that I be careful in whom I put my trust.

The fact of the matter is that I wholeheartedly trust me and my inner guidance system. I’m just really good at following the YES in my heart and also listening for the NO, and nearly 33 years into this life I’m living, which has included travel to other countries and cities and meeting countless people, I have yet to have experienced anything short of magic.

I’m not lucky or extra blessed or extra special in my experience of miracles showing up daily in my life. I’ve just chosen to show up wherever I am from a place of wonder and a desire to connect, of sharing myself and discovering the light inside of others.

Love begets more love y’all. And as my lovely new friend said, “thinking makes it so.”


©2014 Melissa Simonson

Love Revelation: Being a stand for love in the world

It’s an incredibly vulnerable and weird experience to do a funding campaign.

Since launching my GoFundMe campaign to support my New York move a little over a month ago, I have been confronted by many uncomfortable feelings and thoughts.

“You look so needy.”
“People are gonna think that you don’t have your stuff together.”
“Asking for help on this level is just too much–people are going to be so annoyed and think you’re rude…and a little pathetic…for asking.”

Yes, I talk to myself like this in my head, and it hurts. And, there are days when these thoughts can almost stop me.

But here’s the thing: While YES, I asked for financial support in order to help ME transition my life to NYC, this campaign has been about SO MUCH more than me because WHO I AM is someone who wakes up everyday committed to making a loving difference in the world.

I have designed my life inside of the greater commitment to being an Ambassador of Radical Self-Love–of being someone by example, through my dedication to my work, through my creative expression, my family relationships, my friendships and through every day-to-day interaction to be a CAUSE for people to love who they are.

I live each day of my life committed to having others be LIT UP by their lives. I am committed to everyone knowing the freedom that comes with full self-expression, and to healing the shame that causes them to hide their true voice. I am committed to having people wake up in the morning with a smile on their face because they GET that they are truly loved & lovable in every moment.

So, for everyone who has contributed to this campaign and for all those who feel inspired to contribute, you’re not just donating money to me as I make my life in New York–you, right along with me, are choosing to be someone who is committed to creating a loving world.

THAT is the difference you make through donating to my crowd-funding campaign.

And so I’ve chosen to set all of my feelings of shame and thoughts of self-judgement aside because my life is NOT about looking good. I am a stand for love in the world, and so I’m choosing to risk what you’ll think of me, and choosing to invite you to be a powerful contribution along side me instead.

And so I want to ask, will you make the powerful choice to join me in creating a loving world?

Please visit http://www.gofundme.com/MelissaNYCJourney to donate and then share this campaign with the people you care about so that they get to experience themselves as the powerful contribution that they are, too.

Thanks for all that you are.


©2014 Melissa Simonson