Letting My Longing Lead Me…

I find myself, right now, in a space between. There are new visions and dreams emerging and yet, there are emotional doors not yet fully closed, a recent chapter whose pages still call for review. There are longings to emerge, shining from the cave, visions of what lies beyond this current chrysalis, and yet, so much is not yet fully formed, much has yet to reveal itself.

I have gratitude for new awareness born to me over this past month…almost like a remembering of what matters to me, like cold water splashed in my face to WAKE ME UP from a dream. So now, I see what’s been missing in my life: Community. Spaces and activities that unleash my inner artist. A clear, tangible financial plan. There is a deep desire to embrace and be embraced as all of me, to be surrounded by artists who are doing their thing, to have groundedness, a clear sense of purpose, to walk in this city likes it’s a playground for my inner magical child.

What I find uncomfortable about this new awareness is being with “the gap” between my current experience and what I long to create: Loving what is while holding space for what is possible; trusting that the vision will inspire new actions to take at the perfect, right time; having patience with the current state of loneliness. There are moments when it hits me now, square between the eyes how lonely and bored I’ve become. Uggghhh. I literally groaned like that when I arose from bed this morning. And it’s ok. And it’s not. Breathing into this duality, right now, and the fact that it has me squirming to break free.

What I’m tuning into now are the paths that appear effortlessly, and trusting that my longing in itself is a prayer, an invisible thread pulling me toward that which I desire. It’s not that I don’t take action, I just take the action that inspires me, when it inspires me. Right now, there is a lot of breathing and listening: Now? (Nope.) Now? (Not yet, Honey.) How about now? (Breathe, Sweetheart, you’ll know what to do when it’s time.)

There is rich community coming into my life. There is a one-woman-show winking at me and sticking out her tongue from a distant horizon. There is a full in-person Soul Purpose Astrology practice here in NYC flowing in. There is aliveness, peace, connection, nourishment–seeds planted, growing steadily from within.

I find that when I’m being awake and open to the full range of my experience, I taste the bitter and the sweet simultaneously. This moment is no exception.

©2015 Melissa Simonson

Happy Valentine’s Day

Who needs just one Valentine when you can have 7.125 Billion?

As I’ve gone about my day, witnessing the little love moments exchanged between people of all shapes, colors, ages and sizes, I’ve recognized myself, loving me all over the place.

And I’ve been operating in my life these past days out of a new, daily commitment, asking myself the question: what would a person who loves herself do? And I ask this with every conscious decision I make. Do I want chai or a green juice? (What would a person who loves herself do?) Turns out, my body wanted both. And dessert, and a bouquet of flowers.

And it’s interesting, in operating from this new listening for myself, I’m being gifted. A medium chai for the price of a small. Just because. A dollar off on my bouquet of flowers and an extra carnation thrown in there. Just because.

Because when I love me, I love 7.125 billion people, and one by one, you each love me back. Just like that.

Happy Valentine’s Day. I love you.

©2015 Melissa Simonson

The power to bless

It was an intense day on NYC public transport–trains cutting their journeys short due to station investigations, and something was in the air, people throwing f-bombs at each other left and right, strangers becoming more estranged, hurt people creating weapons with their words.

And then there was this: A man counting money he made from busking with his drum, striking up a conversation with a man he didn’t know and exchanging kindness. Just before getting off the train he said, “We all have the power, but it only works if we use it together.”

And I touched him and said, “Amen”–the only thing I could really say in the face of such truth.

And I remembered in that moment, my power to bless with my presence, my listening, with my kindness. We all have that power, and it only works if we use it together.


Love Revelation: Thinking…plus action…makes it so

Tonight’s magical NYC subway adventure included a conversation with a very close-talking, surprisingly profound and maybe a little psychic drunk man telling me that he was “very attracted to my light” and that I belong on Stephen Colbert or Broadway, 🙂 , followed by a deep conversation with a man newly studying to be a lawyer about, NLP, Eckhart Tolle’s the Power of Now, Jed Mckenna, Byron Katie, Landmark Worldwide (It was a long train ride from the city at this hour).

And the evening ended with a text message from this new friend: “Melissa, amazing connecting with you. your journey is going to be as beautiful as you decide to make it. Thinking makes it so.”

This whole night began with my heading into the city to grab a drink with a lovely man who I met on the Subway last week who was reading an inspirational book that grabbed my attention.

All of my life, people have warned me to “keep my guard up” and worried about my daring willingness to leap into the unknown, befriend strangers, and go off the beaten path. Even in the midst of connecting with kind strangers like this man, I’m met with concern that I be careful in whom I put my trust.

The fact of the matter is that I wholeheartedly trust me and my inner guidance system. I’m just really good at following the YES in my heart and also listening for the NO, and nearly 33 years into this life I’m living, which has included travel to other countries and cities and meeting countless people, I have yet to have experienced anything short of magic.

I’m not lucky or extra blessed or extra special in my experience of miracles showing up daily in my life. I’ve just chosen to show up wherever I am from a place of wonder and a desire to connect, of sharing myself and discovering the light inside of others.

Love begets more love y’all. And as my lovely new friend said, “thinking makes it so.”


©2014 Melissa Simonson

Love Revelation: Being a stand for love in the world

It’s an incredibly vulnerable and weird experience to do a funding campaign.

Since launching my GoFundMe campaign to support my New York move a little over a month ago, I have been confronted by many uncomfortable feelings and thoughts.

“You look so needy.”
“People are gonna think that you don’t have your stuff together.”
“Asking for help on this level is just too much–people are going to be so annoyed and think you’re rude…and a little pathetic…for asking.”

Yes, I talk to myself like this in my head, and it hurts. And, there are days when these thoughts can almost stop me.

But here’s the thing: While YES, I asked for financial support in order to help ME transition my life to NYC, this campaign has been about SO MUCH more than me because WHO I AM is someone who wakes up everyday committed to making a loving difference in the world.

I have designed my life inside of the greater commitment to being an Ambassador of Radical Self-Love–of being someone by example, through my dedication to my work, through my creative expression, my family relationships, my friendships and through every day-to-day interaction to be a CAUSE for people to love who they are.

I live each day of my life committed to having others be LIT UP by their lives. I am committed to everyone knowing the freedom that comes with full self-expression, and to healing the shame that causes them to hide their true voice. I am committed to having people wake up in the morning with a smile on their face because they GET that they are truly loved & lovable in every moment.

So, for everyone who has contributed to this campaign and for all those who feel inspired to contribute, you’re not just donating money to me as I make my life in New York–you, right along with me, are choosing to be someone who is committed to creating a loving world.

THAT is the difference you make through donating to my crowd-funding campaign.

And so I’ve chosen to set all of my feelings of shame and thoughts of self-judgement aside because my life is NOT about looking good. I am a stand for love in the world, and so I’m choosing to risk what you’ll think of me, and choosing to invite you to be a powerful contribution along side me instead.

And so I want to ask, will you make the powerful choice to join me in creating a loving world?

Please visit http://www.gofundme.com/MelissaNYCJourney to donate and then share this campaign with the people you care about so that they get to experience themselves as the powerful contribution that they are, too.

Thanks for all that you are.


©2014 Melissa Simonson