For those who long to be chosen…

2 years ago at this time I was one day away from meeting and falling for someone…the last person I would entangle with before meeting my life partner.

I was still afraid to fully claim & own my desires for fear of asking “too much.” I was doing a lot of wishing and hoping and not yet understanding how to fully and consciously create from a clear and grounded place within myself. I still thought that I needed to learn to be “more self-reliant/independent” and less “needy.” I was a bundle of anxiety for the entire 2 months of that relationship dance. I was still playing the waiting game & hoping to be “chosen.”

I’m so grateful for that time that was so intense because after that I refused to suffer any longer for the sake of “love.” I started communicating with the divine daily. I got clear about what I wanted. Through some powerful, straightforward guidance I got that I didn’t need to learn how to stop feeling certain things or denying myself in order to become “stronger.” I fully understood that there is no such thing as a “needy” person or “too much.” I got that it’s MY JOB to choose me AND to choose my partner and that to love myself is to know what conditions support my blossoming and to ensure that I’m planted in those conditions.

I had no idea at this time 2 years ago the ride I was about to step onto and how it would be one of the most intense, excruciating and greatest gifts I could receive. In that time, I understood what it is to truly be a queen.

I write this today for those of you who get anxious, consumed & distracted when you are dating and relating, for those of you who tip-toe around what you feel and really want, who wonder if on some level you really are asking “too much” and need to learn how to “chill the f*ck out.” I write this for the self-doubters who deeply long for healthy, loving committed partnership. I write this for you who long to be chosen. I write this for you because I see you and know what your path has been like, the pain that you feel…and I know the way out.

I had already been on a lifelong journey of growth and relationship Mastery before I got those final lessons…and what I didn’t know at this time 2 years ago is that I was just 4 months away from meeting the man I would choose to spend the rest of my life with…and that I would never feel so “chosen” in my life.

Standing for your having it ALL.

Melissa

P.S. I’m here to be your guide and mentor. If you wanna know how the heck you heal these patterns and how you, too, can fully live into the fulfillment of your desire for partnership, send me a message via my contact form and we will set up a conversation about how I can help.

Why knowing your Astrological Chart is essential on the path to self-love…

Why understanding the wisdom of your Astrological (birth) Chart is a crucial step in creating a fulfilling life & relationships, AND why it is THE starting point for all self-love mentorship work with me…watch this Live video I posted on Facebook and bring your voice to the comments!

The most important question to ask when dating/relating…

When it comes to dating, there is no “right” way for you or the other person to act, no such thing as “too much,” no such thing as “too fast” or “too slow.” All of this trying to get it right or wondering if something is acceptable or normal has you in your head (the land of ego safety, control and approval games) and ignoring how you actually FEEL.

The most important question that you need to be asking is: “How do I feel?”

Your feelings are sacred guides pointing to your own precious needs and values. If you’re feeling off—anxious, insecure, guarded, confused, frustrated, etc.—this is an indicator that you have some needs that aren’t being fulfilled completely in this situation. When you feel good, it’s because you’re aligning with what you need and value.

When feeling off in a relating/dating situation…the question is never whether or not you should be feeling what you’re feeling. Your feelings cannot be wrong (they are FOR YOU, after all). The question is: “What are these feelings telling me that I most need and desire?”

This is the only authority you ever need to follow.

Happy dating & relating, lovelies!

❤️Melissa

P.S. If you want to know how to navigate the world of your feelings like a ninja, to confidently choose yourself no matter what and create thriving relationships, I have openings for complimentary self-love activation calls (new clients only) in the next couple of weeks. Send an email via my contact form to grab your spot on my calendar.

You Do Not NEED to Suffer in Order to Grow…

Dear One,

You do not NEED to suffer in order to grow. In fact, it is through sweetness that you truly thrive.

Yes, Life will offer up its challenges–just like the wind strengthens the trunk of a tree so that it is able to rise toward the sky, life will bring the needed elements to strengthen you and align you with the power you possess to create new worlds.

And yet, you need not suffer. When you choose to make peace with what life brings, and turn your attention toward that which is most pleasurable for you moment by moment, you fertilize the soil for your inevitable expansion. When you focus on the needs underneath the fear and anxiety and commit to meeting those needs, you will find yourself flourishing in a state of peace.

It is not noble to choose the “hard” path. To be in the relationship that takes constant “work.” To put in the long hours at work when you truly desire to rest. To say yes for the sake of being “good” rather than saying no in honor of your freedom.

You will grow. This is what life does in its ever-reaching movement toward the light. Life is leading itself, so you can let go of the effort. Choose relationships that simply feel good, effortlessly. Choose to take actions that simply flow and that fulfill you. Make pleasure your first priority and like a tree with proper water and nutrients, you will flourish and rise.

So I ask: What would be most pleasurable for you in this moment? I invite you to go do that, Dear One, and open yourself fully for what unfolds.

<3 <3 <3

©2016 Melissa Simonson

Letting My Longing Lead Me…

I find myself, right now, in a space between. There are new visions and dreams emerging and yet, there are emotional doors not yet fully closed, a recent chapter whose pages still call for review. There are longings to emerge, shining from the cave, visions of what lies beyond this current chrysalis, and yet, so much is not yet fully formed, much has yet to reveal itself.

I have gratitude for new awareness born to me over this past month…almost like a remembering of what matters to me, like cold water splashed in my face to WAKE ME UP from a dream. So now, I see what’s been missing in my life: Community. Spaces and activities that unleash my inner artist. A clear, tangible financial plan. There is a deep desire to embrace and be embraced as all of me, to be surrounded by artists who are doing their thing, to have groundedness, a clear sense of purpose, to walk in this city likes it’s a playground for my inner magical child.

What I find uncomfortable about this new awareness is being with “the gap” between my current experience and what I long to create: Loving what is while holding space for what is possible; trusting that the vision will inspire new actions to take at the perfect, right time; having patience with the current state of loneliness. There are moments when it hits me now, square between the eyes how lonely and bored I’ve become. Uggghhh. I literally groaned like that when I arose from bed this morning. And it’s ok. And it’s not. Breathing into this duality, right now, and the fact that it has me squirming to break free.

What I’m tuning into now are the paths that appear effortlessly, and trusting that my longing in itself is a prayer, an invisible thread pulling me toward that which I desire. It’s not that I don’t take action, I just take the action that inspires me, when it inspires me. Right now, there is a lot of breathing and listening: Now? (Nope.) Now? (Not yet, Honey.) How about now? (Breathe, Sweetheart, you’ll know what to do when it’s time.)

There is rich community coming into my life. There is a one-woman-show winking at me and sticking out her tongue from a distant horizon. There is a full in-person Soul Purpose Astrology practice here in NYC flowing in. There is aliveness, peace, connection, nourishment–seeds planted, growing steadily from within.

I find that when I’m being awake and open to the full range of my experience, I taste the bitter and the sweet simultaneously. This moment is no exception.

©2015 Melissa Simonson